Artistic Tool
Mig Welder
You want lawn art ?
Wrench
Thunder Gun
Provides unbelievable muscle.
Glue
Bondo
If you really want to stick things together. Comes in gallon tubes too.
Lie
"I'm just going to ... I'll be home in an hour."
I don't care what the job is, can't be done !
Approach to jobs
Research, Research
This involves looking at, but not touching anything, for at least 3 beers.
Tool
THE Hammer
The average onlooker wouldn't understand the mystical powers of this hammer. Call for a demo.
Excuse
Why it doesn't work ?
Obviously someone snuck into the garage in the middle of the night and f**ked with my adjustments.
Piece of furniture
The Stool
This is the best height extender in the garage. You can even sit on it.
Warning
Danger !
The Insurance Company made us put this up for liability coverage.
Appliance
Woodstove
This multitasks as the "Comfort Zone" in winter and the "Recycling Center".
Race Team
Front Yard Racing
They are the essence and sprirt of racing.
Race Car
88 Dale Jarret
This could be debatable, but, I control the website.
Garage Sponsor
Mom
If Mom ain't happy ... no one's happy. And she owns it !
Question
What would Dan do?
Sometimes you just over-think a situation. At that point it begs the question ... "What would Dan do?"
Injury
Lack of Confidence
In the middle of a project you encounter the overwhelming feeling that you're the most ignorant person on the planet. That feeling (usually) goes away when / if you win.
Cat
Bill the Cat
Bill is not your regular cat.
Tree
Woodpile Tree
We pay special attention to this tree. For some reason it requires an astonishing amount of liquid.

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